How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back After A Separation

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