How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Husband Back From Separation