How To Win Your Husband Back Book
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How To Win Your Husband Back Book
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back Book
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back Book
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Husband Back Book
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back Book
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Husband Back Book