How To Win Your Husband Back Book

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

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How To Win Your Husband Back Book

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Husband Back Book

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