How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access to every one my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Husband Back Before It’s Too Late