How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Husband Back Before Divorce