How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back