How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts at the end. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back Questionnaire