How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to get exactly the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce