How To Win My Wife Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win My Wife Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Wife Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win My Wife Back

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How To Win My Wife Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win My Wife Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Wife Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win My Wife Back

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