How To Win My Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win My Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win My Wife Back