How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time before you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back After Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win My Wife Back After Separation