How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win My Wife Back After Infidelity