How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time until you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win My Wife Back After I Cheated