How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win My Wife Back After Divorce