How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Husband Back During Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win My Husband Back During Separation