How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win My Husband Back After Divorce