How To Win Ex Wife
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How To Win Ex Wife
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Ex Wife
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Ex Wife
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Ex Wife
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Ex Wife
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Ex Wife