How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Ex Wife Back After Divorce