How To Win Back Your Wife
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Win Back Your Wife
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Back Your Wife
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Back Your Wife
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Back Your Wife
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Back Your Wife
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Back Your Wife