How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the end. How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need time before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Back Your Ex Wife
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Back Your Ex Wife