How To Win Back Ex Wife
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Back Ex Wife
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Back Ex Wife
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Back Ex Wife
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Back Ex Wife
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Back Ex Wife
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Back Ex Wife