How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Back Ex Wife Tips