In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words like dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring just meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

I don’t know of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections rather than in spite of those.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It is possible to not like your spouse or maybe not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save Your Marriage After An Affair

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