In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
A number of guys in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, only food, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling once you think about it. How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
I don’t know of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your spouse has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
That is unconditional love.How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding methods to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
Final ThoughtsHow To Save Your Marriage After Adultery
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