In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save Your Friends Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with things they used in their lives. Words like comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is very humbling when you consider it. How To Save Your Friends Marriage
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save Your Friends Marriage
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save Your Friends Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your spouse has faults. You realize your partner is not perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of those.
This is unconditional love.How To Save Your Friends Marriage
The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our difficulties become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save Your Friends Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow To Save Your Friends Marriage
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