In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save The Marriage
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like dependable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. How To Save The Marriage
I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of regardless of how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save The Marriage
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save The Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to the imperfections rather than in spite of those.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save The Marriage
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our problems become larger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save The Marriage
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