In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My Second Marriage

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words like dependable, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save My Second Marriage

I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Second Marriage

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Second Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize by now your partner has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.

This is unconditional love.How To Save My Second Marriage

The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It is possible to not like your partner or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save My Second Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Second Marriage

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