One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Save My Marriage Worksheet 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the 1 person who remains bears the potential, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two different people causing the total well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

The first thing you must understand is, if you would like to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the ending.

Again, it is likely to fail if you are seeking a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage. How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and watch what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin first by examining what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with the nature of how we interact with individuals and others is a fundamental aspect of development that is personal and emotional. How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with plan the hope and dream that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and when they do so we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is extremely easy for us to put the blame of the person for having made us unhappy.How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, hard person to a person who can offer an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have less baggage and more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Instead of beat up yourself in Despair, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is the type of you that would enable your partner to return and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save My Marriage Worksheet

Through small, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You might be making!

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