In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring just meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

I don’t know of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize by now your partner has faults. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner because of the imperfections instead of in spite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not like your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Marriage Without Counseling

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