In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.

A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you think about it. How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner due to those imperfections rather than in spite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and dominate our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding methods to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not like your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Marriage When She Doesn’t Want To

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