In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your partner has flaws. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that is fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner because of the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the exact same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It is possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Marriage To A Narcissist

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