In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

A number of guys in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to keep.

A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your partner has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections instead of despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save My Marriage After My Affair

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Marriage After My Affair

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