In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as dependable reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You understand your partner is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of the imperfections instead of in spite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Final ThoughtsHow To Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
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