In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your partner has faults. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our difficulties become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save My 20 Year Marriage

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