In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Young Marriage
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like reliable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring just meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Young Marriage
I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Young Marriage
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Young Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Young Marriage
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your spouse or not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Young Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Young Marriage
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