In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Troubled Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words such as dependable reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Troubled Marriage
I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Troubled Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Troubled Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Troubled Marriage
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s problems become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Troubled Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Troubled Marriage
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