In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Terrible Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they utilized in their lives. Words like reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Terrible Marriage
I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Terrible Marriage
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Terrible Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your spouse has faults. You understand your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to those imperfections instead of despite of those.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Terrible Marriage
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our issues become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Terrible Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Terrible Marriage
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