In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Ruined Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Ruined Marriage
I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Ruined Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Ruined Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to in spite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Ruined Marriage
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Ruined Marriage
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