In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Miserable Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reassuring, dependable, and reliable were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring shelter, just food, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Miserable Marriage

I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Miserable Marriage

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Miserable Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your spouse has faults. You understand your partner is not perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections instead of in spite of them.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Miserable Marriage

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Miserable Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Miserable Marriage

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