In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A number of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is quite humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections rather than despite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.

What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage Without Counseling

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