In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of the imperfections instead of in spite of those.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s problems become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage With Stepchildren
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