In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your partner has faults. You know your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections instead of despite of them.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage With Ptsd
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