In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words like comforting, reliable, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring shelter, food, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your spouse has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.

That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they really are and dominate our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not like your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage With A Narcissist

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