In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with items they utilized in their lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of the imperfections instead of in spite of them.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When You Have Nothing In Common
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