In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, trustworthy, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to the imperfections instead of despite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When You Hate Each Other
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