Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone 

How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t wish to help look for an answer…?

How do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the possibility, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are two different people causing the health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, afterall!

photo of bear plush toy on pavement

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

The first thing you need to understand is, if you want to save your marriage and if you end up alone in this need, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the start of the ending.

Again, it is likely to fail, if you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the physical and psychological work in to saving the marriage. How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin first by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and create connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with the character of how we interact with people and others is a fundamental aspect of development that is personal and emotional. How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a strong sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without even being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter relationships and marriages with dream, plan and the hope that we’d never be alone. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and if they do so we fear. When our spouse leaves, our fears kick in. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

So as to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, difficult person to a person who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much less bags and more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Instead of beat yourself up in Despair, try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is your type that would allow your partner initiate communication and to return. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking steps to work them through. How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How To Save A Marriage When Trust Is Gone

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You might be making!

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