In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your partner has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to those imperfections rather than in spite of those.

This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You’ve got faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our issues become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When Someone Cheats

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