In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your spouse has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse due to those imperfections rather than in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

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