In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to the imperfections instead of in spite of them.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When One Wants Out
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