In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your spouse has faults. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections instead of in spite of them.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they really are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage When Living Apart

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