In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your partner has faults. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage To An Alcoholic
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